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FELLATIO PERFORMER

A MARMITE BLOG - YOU'LL EITHER LIKE IT OR HATE IT!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Sometimes I Wish I was A Man

Why ARE Men Happier?

1. Your last name stays put.
2. The garage is all yours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4.Chocolate is just another snack.
5. You can be President.
6. You can never be pregnant.
7. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
8. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
9. Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
10. The world is your urinal.
11. You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too gross.
12. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
13. Same work, more pay.
14. Wrinkles add character.
15. Wedding dress £3000. Tux rental-£80.
16. People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
17. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
18. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
19. One mood all the time.
20. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
21. You know stuff about tanks.
22. A 5 day holiday requires only one suitcase .
23. You can open all of your own jars.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
26. Your underwear is £5.00 for a three-pack.
27. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
28. You almost never have strap problems in public.
29. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
30. Everything on your face stays its original colour.
31. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
32. You only have to shave your face and neck.
33. You can play with toys all your life.
34. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
35. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
36. You can wear shorts no matter what how your legs look.
37. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
38. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
39You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

4 Comments:

At 11:50 AM, Blogger Kallun said...

(4) Yep - just had a block of chocolate now. I can also eat whole family-size pizzas without gaining weight. Do ya hate me yet?

(6) Thankfully.

(9) Not true.

(16) You haven't seen my pecs... ;-)

(19) Yup - horny.

(21) No I don't. But my father used to be a tank driving instructer for the British Army.

(27) I only have two.

(28) Straps?

(33) I got great legs, apparently.

(39) Like hell I can. The lines at the register are too long. Takes too bloody long to find parking. Too many bloody people. But then I don't buy anything for my relatives - just my parents.

 
At 7:01 PM, Blogger Love Hurts said...

kallun - you made me laugh so much!!!! ok
(4) I can't manage a full bar & I certainly can't eat a huge pizza, sooo jealous!
(6) well, you guys aren't very good when it comes to pain are you?
(9) well my brother is a mechanic & he tells the truth.
(16) no, I haven't seen your pecs, can I please?
(19) now that was a great answer! (21) wow your dad was in the Army, I worked for the Army for 10 years, still miss it.
(27) I reckon you're more a trainer man myself.
(28) bra straps!
(36) so can I see your legs too?
(39) I try to do mine during the year but there is always 1 you have to buy for on xmas eve.

 
At 8:23 AM, Blogger Jaded Maniac said...

that's it! I'm getting a sex reassignment surgery done next week!

 
At 8:09 PM, Blogger Love Hurts said...

jaded maniac - I'm looking into it too!

 

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